Ironically, in this town it’s never sweater weather. My hometown was constantly cold. The daily specials on our weather menu included fresh flurries, frozen-bone winds, dim sun, endless refills of rain, all with a side of chilly. The Ebensburg Borough Pool was more like an athlete’s ice bath, where we trained unwittingly for a Polar Bear Plunge. It’s the place where “pleasant” was two dozen degrees lower than anywhere I’d ever been. 80 was when Dad would start singing, We’re having a heatwave, a tropical heatwave.
Alan Baylock 
Irving Berlin!
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And this is why I never learned to swim!
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